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I turned 27 this past Sunday and wow do I feel old. But you know what they say, “Older and wiser.” As your big sis, I’ve learned a few things in my 27 years of living. Rather than bore you with 27 things I’ve learned— I shortened it down to 7.
It’s Okay to Start Over
I was born and raised in Wisconsin. My entire life— everyone I knew, my job, my home… it was all in the midwest. But I knew if I stayed, I would get stuck in a pattern. I needed to get out of my own comfort zone.
Which is why I packed up a truck and moved to Charleston, SC. You can start whatever you need to start over. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a place you live.
Learn to Be Okay with Being Alone
I’m working on this one. Holidays leading up to this birthday were rough. I felt like I was watching everyone back home live life without me. I questioned if I made the right decision to move to Charleston for a solid month. I wondered if I was okay with being alone.
I’ve made great friends, I’m connected, and I try. But it’s not Wisconsin and it doesn’t fully feel like home. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. You’re not isolating, but recharging.
Own Your Story
We all have one. Just because someone doesn’t understand yours doesn’t mean it isn’t valid or important. The best thing you can do is take ownership of your story— really, fully, truly, completely own it. The highs, the lows, the in-betweens.
When I moved to Charleston I stayed off social media. I was worried people would hear my story and think less of me. I was consumed with what everyone would think of me. But their opinion doesn’t change anything about my past. I get to write my story going forward and if people don’t like it that’s okay.
As hard as it can be, own your story but know that you don’t own anyone an explanation.
Make Your Bed
When I make my bed in the morning, I’ve immediately accomplished something. While it’s small, it’s still something.
You’re a Whole Person
Someone coming into your life doesn’t complete you. Someone leaving your life doesn’t make you any less of a person. You are whole on your own. You have hobbies, passions, and things that make you unique.
Don’t change your entire world for someone. You’re allowed to have separate hobbies and friends. In my past relationship, I told my ex-fiance he wasn’t my better half. He was an equal part to me and he complimented me, but he didn’t complete me. I was a whole person on my own, I didn’t need someone to complete me.
That ruffled some feathers, but I will forever feel that way. Go into every relationship knowing you’re a whole person. If someone chooses to walk away, you’ll still be whole.
Everyone Is Going Through Something
I’ve told people for years that my bad day isn’t yours and vice versa. Someone’s 2 on a scale of 1 to 10, and your 7 could be someone’s 3.
We never know what others are going through. They could’ve lost a loved one, lost their job, or just woken up on the wrong side of the bed. It’s important to give people grace. If someone had caught me the day or week or month after my engagement ended, I would’ve been a hot mess. They could’ve gotten a version of me that isn’t fully me.
Some Goodbyes Are Important
If they wanted to stay, they would. If they wanted to treat you better, they would. If they wanted to make you a priority, they would. Sometimes you have to let people walk away (or walk away yourself!)
Your heart may be bruised, but you know when you deserve better.
When people show you who they are, believe them.—Maya Angelou
I didn’t understand that quote for a long time. I see potential in people. So when they’re being rude or disrespectful or whatever, I assumed for the longest time that I could fix them. But it’s not my responsibility to fix them.
I recently let someone walk out of my life. I was questioning my worth because of them. They were texting me on their time (and not consistently), I was waiting for my phone to light up, I was hanging onto the breadcrumbs they dropped for me.
So I set boundaries and let them stay out of the picture. Someone leaving is someone not choosing you— and you deserve to get picked every single day.