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The past couple of months have been kind of a blur. Obviously on the last episode (it might not be that obvious… who knows if you listened to the last episode?), but I moved and had some big life changes. I’m in a… tumultuous season. But I’m in a season of feeling uprooted and my word for 2022 is rooted.
That combination doesn’t go well together, but here we are.
I’m feeling like a plant that’s being put into a bigger pot— you shake the roots and rough it up a bit before it can grow. And that’s what feels like is happening to me. But six months ago, I decided to be incredibly intentional with my yeses.
I was feeling burnt out in life, in my purpose, the people I was surrounding myself with. I was saying yes to everyone but myself, and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I spent a long time figuring out what I needed. I tend to isolate when I need to think, decompress, and sort through what I need to do with next steps.
I felt like I needed to enter into a season of saying no for the majority of the year.
I’ve said no to volunteering, taking on an additional book club, things that I’d normally say yes to. I didn’t want to disappoint people, but I realized I was disappointing myself. I didn’t have energy for the people I needed it most— myself being one of those people.
Pouring from an Empty Cup
Even if someone was pouring into my cup, I don’t know if I wouldn’t been able to realize it even. I was burnt out in every capacity. To the point where I was avoiding church. I was worried if I saw someone at church they’d ask me to sign-up for something or volunteer at an event. And that’s not healthy.
I knew if I stayed on the trajectory that I was in, I would end up resenting people and groups because I wasn’t setting boundaries. Which is something I’m working on. (Yay for progress!)
Saying No is An Act of Self Care
A season of no may not be saying no to everything. It could be listening to your body’s reaction when someone asks you to do something. Are you excited or want to run away and hide? It could be doing an inventory check of your schedule and asking if yourself if you’re doing too much.
Saying yes to the things you’re excited about and feel aligned is when you’re taking care of yourself. It’s not when you impress everyone or do all the things so that your resume looks good. At what expense is it worth it? At what point is it not fun anymore?
We’re so used to living that highlight reel mentality that we forget to live in the moment, too.
Will It Matter?
I was listening to a message and the person said that some people’s favorite day is someday. When I graduate or make a certain amount or have a family… I’ll be fulfilled. But you realize when you reach those milestones how unfulfilling the wrong things are.
We can always make more money or break up with the person who is holding you back. To have the forward-thinking mentality at all times is only hurting you. Is going to that house this weekend worth the Instagram post? In 5 years, will you really be talking about who was at that party? Is making your social media look cool for another 5 days really worth it?
And I get it. I said yes to every party and things that weren’t longterm. I didn’t want to be uncool or look stupid, but I forgot that nobody cares about anyone but themselves.
No is a full sentence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can’t be everything for everyone, but you have to be something for yourself. Know yourself, know what you stand for. And what you stand for should align with what you’re saying yes to.