When The Other Person Moves On

The Big Sis Podcast

When The Other Person Moves On

The Big Sis Podcast

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Big Sis Playlist

Lessons I Learned On
My Solo Road Trip

I Jumped Out of An Airplane... Here's What It Taught Me

Building a Community with Lizanne Dooner

Breakups Suck,
But You Can Get Through This

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tune into the show on apple podcasts!

I'm Jordi — Writer, speaker, podcaster, and permission slip writer for those who need that lil' nudge to keep writing their stories.

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LISTEN ON YOUR FAVE PLATFORM: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY

I recently got some news that shattered my entire soul. That news felt like the knife already in my back was being twisted.

Hurts Pretty Good

“I love you, but I wanted you to hear it from me and not Facebook…” was the phone call I got from my sister. And I knew it was going to hurt. My heart sank.

For some reason, I knew it was coming. I didn’t know how soon, but I felt it coming. But it hurt pretty good.

Dry Heaving Into a Burrito

My ex-fiance got engaged a year after ours ended. It stings to say it out loud. I don’t wish them anything bad. I wish them a life of love and happiness, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

When I found out, I fell to the floor. I was eating a Chipotle burrito and took it to the floor. I cried into the burrito while laying on the floor. I sobbed uncontrollably, mascara running down my face, dry heaving into a burrito.

Leading up to that moment, I was living in paranoia. I was wondering if and when he’d move on. It’s not that I didn’t want him to, but I didn’t know if I could face him being happy and me not being the source. I struggled from this from the start of the breakup.

While on my road trip, in Death Valley, I had a 20-hour panic attack. I thought I was going to die.

I texted my sister a long paragraph of anxiety that was eating me alive. I was worried about living in the same town. Our future kids should’ve been siblings, but now they’d be friends at best? Would they even be friends? Would they talk about each other? Would they get made fun of? I drove myself to an extreme sense of anxiety. Would he move on with someone I knew? Would it be someone I worried about? Would they enable him? Support him?

Seeing it all come full circle was hard. It was confirmation that the chapter had closed, but there was a voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough but he found someone who was. I should’ve been the person he needed all along. Because I couldn’t be, I’d be alone forever. I wasn’t enough for him, how could I ever be for someone else?

I don’t want us to have a future, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think we would at one point.

Isolation and Humiliation

When the news broke, only a few people reached out. It was humiliating and I felt like I didn’t exist to people. Why didn’t I deserve to be consoled if he deserved to be congratulated? It hurts.

Sometimes people don’t know what to say, they feel for you, but they don’t know how to react. Having gone through this, I know that silence is so much worse. But in that moment, what should they have said? People that weren’t close were asking if I had seen the news.

I wasn’t sure if they were trying to console me or trying to be a part of the story— which hurt once again.

Wounds Reopening

I don’t know how much I’ll ever share what happened in my last relationship. For privacy reasons and because I don’t feel like getting sued.

There are a lot of deep wounds from the person, his family, and things that happened. I’ve spent a year working to move on. Some of the wounds I’m too proud to admit, some I’m terrified to face, but I’ve realized that seeing the news of the engagement that a lot of wounds reopened.

Insecurities were amplified, anger was highlighted, hurt was intensified. Wounds being reopened were from me pretending I was okay and my past catching up with me.

Healing Isn’t Linear

It didn’t happen because I moved across the country. It didn’t happen because I didn’t see his black Denali for a year. It didn’t happen because I decided it did. I’m still healing.

I don’t know if there will ever have a complete healing that happens. Part of me will always carry hurt for what happened, but I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to take steps forward and stumble back. It’s okay to find pockets of happiness and still be sad. It’s okay to be angry with that past, but I still have to move forward.

Moving On

It’s hard to watch someone that you loved love someone else.

Watching your past have a future without you sucks. It brings out a side of you that you wish didn’t exist. It’s okay to be sad, angry, hurt— I’m hurt right now. But just know that you’ll get through it.

tl;dr As your big sis, it’s okay to be sad sometimes.
LISTEN ON YOUR FAVE PLATFORM: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY

I recently got some news that shattered my entire soul. That news felt like the knife already in my back was being twisted.

Hurts Pretty Good

“I love you, but I wanted you to hear it from me and not Facebook…” was the phone call I got from my sister. And I knew it was going to hurt. My heart sank.

For some reason, I knew it was coming. I didn’t know how soon, but I felt it coming. But it hurt pretty good.

Dry Heaving Into a Burrito

My ex-fiance got engaged a year after ours ended. It stings to say it out loud. I don’t wish them anything bad. I wish them a life of love and happiness, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

When I found out, I fell to the floor. I was eating a Chipotle burrito and took it to the floor. I cried into the burrito while laying on the floor. I sobbed uncontrollably, mascara running down my face, dry heaving into a burrito.

Leading up to that moment, I was living in paranoia. I was wondering if and when he’d move on. It’s not that I didn’t want him to, but I didn’t know if I could face him being happy and me not being the source. I struggled from this from the start of the breakup.

While on my road trip, in Death Valley, I had a 20-hour panic attack. I thought I was going to die.

I texted my sister a long paragraph of anxiety that was eating me alive. I was worried about living in the same town. Our future kids should’ve been siblings, but now they’d be friends at best? Would they even be friends? Would they talk about each other? Would they get made fun of? I drove myself to an extreme sense of anxiety. Would he move on with someone I knew? Would it be someone I worried about? Would they enable him? Support him?

Seeing it all come full circle was hard. It was confirmation that the chapter had closed, but there was a voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough but he found someone who was. I should’ve been the person he needed all along. Because I couldn’t be, I’d be alone forever. I wasn’t enough for him, how could I ever be for someone else?

I don’t want us to have a future, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think we would at one point.

Isolation and Humiliation

When the news broke, only a few people reached out. It was humiliating and I felt like I didn’t exist to people. Why didn’t I deserve to be consoled if he deserved to be congratulated? It hurts.

Sometimes people don’t know what to say, they feel for you, but they don’t know how to react. Having gone through this, I know that silence is so much worse. But in that moment, what should they have said? People that weren’t close were asking if I had seen the news.

I wasn’t sure if they were trying to console me or trying to be a part of the story— which hurt once again.

Wounds Reopening

I don’t know how much I’ll ever share what happened in my last relationship. For privacy reasons and because I don’t feel like getting sued.

There are a lot of deep wounds from the person, his family, and things that happened. I’ve spent a year working to move on. Some of the wounds I’m too proud to admit, some I’m terrified to face, but I’ve realized that seeing the news of the engagement that a lot of wounds reopened.

Insecurities were amplified, anger was highlighted, hurt was intensified. Wounds being reopened were from me pretending I was okay and my past catching up with me.

Healing Isn’t Linear

It didn’t happen because I moved across the country. It didn’t happen because I didn’t see his black Denali for a year. It didn’t happen because I decided it did. I’m still healing.

I don’t know if there will ever have a complete healing that happens. Part of me will always carry hurt for what happened, but I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to take steps forward and stumble back. It’s okay to find pockets of happiness and still be sad. It’s okay to be angry with that past, but I still have to move forward.

Moving On

It’s hard to watch someone that you loved love someone else.

Watching your past have a future without you sucks. It brings out a side of you that you wish didn’t exist. It’s okay to be sad, angry, hurt— I’m hurt right now. But just know that you’ll get through it.

tl;dr As your big sis, it’s okay to be sad sometimes.

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My Story

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podcast episodes

top downloaded

tune into the show on apple podcasts!

I'm Jordi — Writer, speaker, podcaster, and permission slip writer for those who need that lil' nudge to keep writing their stories.

Lessons I Learned On
My Solo Road Trip

I Jumped Out of An Airplane... Here's What It Taught Me

Building a Community with Lizanne Dooner

Breakups Suck,
But You Can Get Through This

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